


Don't Let Me Go

by Fanatic_weirdo



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Near Death, Poor Alec, Scared Magnus Bane, malec cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 16:32:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12610812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanatic_weirdo/pseuds/Fanatic_weirdo
Summary: When Magnus almost loses Alec, he has a hard time being away from him even for a moment. Alec is understanding and comforting and cuddles ensue.





	Don't Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anyone. This is my first post on here. I hope you guys enjoy!!

Alec was being held so tightly by his boyfriend that it nearly hurt to breathe. Still after what he knew the warlock had, had to go through to keep him breathing, Alec wasn’t going to complain. He knew he’d gotten closer to death than ever before. Jace, Clary and Izzy had all taken shifts on giving Magnus strength to keep healing him. Alec also knew Magnus was beyond exhausted. Once Alec was conscious he’d insisted that the two of them go home. They had to take a cab because Magnus could barely hold himself up, let alone create a portal. They got to the loft, helping each other slowly up the stairs until they reached the door. Once inside they’d fallen on the bed, clinging to each other and hadn’t moved in over an hour.  
“Mag,” Alec whispered, gently touching Magnus’s hair.  
“Yeah?” his voice was shaky and Alec knew he was crying as his tee-shirt was soaked.  
“How about we change? Or we can take a bath and I’ll cook us dinner,” Alec suggested. Magnus inhaled sharply, holding on even tighter.  
“No!” the tone was not grouchy or pouty but desperate bordering on panic. He clung to Alec as if the thought of moving away from him would destroy him. Alec was only slightly surprised.  
“Magnus,” he whispered softly, kissing his forehead.  
“If I can’t feel you breathing I-“ Magnus whimpered. “I can’t, Alexander.” Alec blinked in surprise at the man who was breathing into Alec’s neck. “I realized something today,” Alec knew he wasn’t meant to respond, “When you die, I’m going to have to die too.” Alec sat up, horrified, detaching them for the first time.  
“Don’t say that!” Magnus looked up at him, smiling minutely but it was a sad smile. “The world needs you, Magnus. You are the High Warlock of Brooklyn, you are so important.” Alec claimed cupping Magnus’s cheek as he pulled Magnus up gently to be sitting with him, Alec’s back against the head board, Magnus curled into Alec’s side. Magnus shook his head,  
“I could be the most important in the world, but you are the most important person in my world, Alexander Lightwood and I cannot bring myself to live in a time where you are not alive.” Alec shushed him gently, putting his jaw on top of Magnus’s head. Tears were streaming down both of their faces. “We can get up in a minute just… I thought I lost you, Nephilim, I honestly thought I was going to have to say good bye to you today and so I need you to lay here with me just a few more minutes, please.” Alec flinched, Magnus was usually such a rock, handling every situation with humor, but for this one he didn’t even try.  
“Okay, love, we’ll stay here a little while longer.” Alec agreed. Magnus let out a breath of relief as if he suspected Alec would fight him. They sat there for a least another 30 minutes, intertwined with each other before Magnus finally pulled away, his heart aching at the tiny distance between them. They were still touching but without feeling the up and down of Alec’s chest, Magnus felt lost and scared, only a slightly muted version of what he’d felt while trying to heal the Shadowhunter. 

\---------

Alec was dying, it only took someone with eyes to realize that. He was gray, his pale skin covered in blood and what wasn’t covered in blood was bruised and scraped. He looked like he’d gone against Lilith herself, and lost.  
“Alexander,” Magnus breathed and he immediately moved his hands over his lover, sending healing magic into him with as much power as he could manage. Izzy was sobbing, Jace looked confused, like he wasn’t sure where he was or what was happening. Clary was trying to stay out of the way until needed, though Magnus knew she was distraught too. She and Alec had bonded recently to being more like a big brother/little sister relationship, rather than like cats and dogs.  
Magnus could feel Alec slipping away, as if Magnus wasn’t pouring every ounce of energy and power into the younger man. How was it not working? Why was his magic choosing to fail him, to fail ALEC, now?

\--------

“Magnus,” Alec whispered, making Magnus realize he was staring past Alec, his breathing rough and shallow. He found Alec’s eyes, they were sad and worried and Magnus leaned in, pressing their lips together, breathing in deeply in order to be able to smell his lover’s scent. It brought him back to reality and Magnus parted them and Alec laid his face against Magnus’s neck, kissing so lightly that Magnus wondered if he imaged it. But then there was more pressure, still a gentle kiss with no heat, only care and affection.  
“I know I scared you,” Alec whispered into his skin. “I cannot even image what you felt. If it had been you…” Alec’s eyes filled with tears at the thought and he felt Magnus trembling with grief. Alec brought his mouth up a few inches to be right next to Magnus’s ear. “You saved me, Love, you brought me back, I’m here right now because of you, no one else. I was not ready to say goodbye to you either, so thank you.” Alec’s lips brushed Magnus’s ear, then his jaw, dragging his wet mouth on his jaw line and up to his cheek before pulling away to look into the stunningly entrancing eyes of his partner. “I will never be ready to say goodbye to you, Magnus.”  
Magnus’s breath caught in his throat. Every time this beautiful man confessed his feelings to him, they were always so genuine and so pure that it seemed impossible to Magnus. How could someone love Magnus that much? No one else in his life had. He had been left, cast aside, forced away by 17,000 others, so the fact that someone like Alexander was the one who stayed, Magnus almost couldn’t comprehend.  
“And I will never be ready to say goodbye to you, darling,” Magnus whispered, tears wetting his face yet again. Alec smiled sweetly and wiped the tears away with the pad of his thumb.  
“Maybe we can find a way so we never have to.” Alec murmured and Magnus got the feeling he hadn’t meant to say it aloud because the next moment he looked back into Magnus’s eyes, “Think you’re ready for that bath now, or shall we stay here a little longer?” It was clearly a choice, no suggestion, no baiting, Magnus knew whichever he chose Alec would simply accept.  
“Mmm,” he hummed and nuzzled back into Alec side, kissing his collar bone. “We can take a bath,” he nodded, still not moving and Alec wasn’t going to force it. But eventually Magnus did start to pull away but Alec mirrored his movement, keeping at least some physical contact even as they ungracefully climbed off the bed. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus’s waist when they were finally standing, both as support for their still exhausted bodies, but also so Magnus didn’t have to not feel him. As they went into the bathroom Magnus moved to wave his hands to fill the tub with water but Alec quickly grabbed his wrists, kissing the inside of both of them gently.  
“No magic for the rest of the day at least, I’d prefer it be the next couple days but that may be unrealistic.” Magnus chuckled at his boyfriend’s truthful joke but he felt the relief of his magic which was only just beginning to replenish itself. Past lovers and even partners had never taken quite as much interest in Magnus’s magic, unless it was for their own gain. A few warlocks he’d dated had been careful to make sure he didn’t hurt himself when he was magically exhausted, but a Shadowhunter? A race notorious for making demands and viewing Downworlders as sub-beings? The fact that one of them was the most aware of Magnus’s often lack of self-care…it always warmed Magnus’s heart that Alec was so mindful of his magic use.  
Alec filled the tub with steaming water, as they both enjoyed their bath water a little too warm, and added lavender essence until the whole room was filled with steam and that scent. Magnus sighed contently as Alec pressed his front against Magnus’s back, his hands tracing down Magnus’s arms until it reached his ringed fingers. He interlaced their fingers and wrapped both of their arms around Magnus’s chest, kissing Magnus’s neck once again. He didn’t remove his lips for a couple minutes, not marking or even moving them, simply resting them on the soft, tender flesh.  
Alec stripped them both quietly, no rushing to pull anything off, or growls of sexual frustration when something was difficult. He unbuttoned every button on Magnus’s shirt slowly, before slipping his hands over Magnus’s shoulders and letting the shirt fall to the floor. He pulled off his own tee-shirt easily, tossing it on top of Magnus’s and moving on to undo his own pants, pushing them down and kicking them to the side. Magnus watched him intently, as if trying to study every movement so he could do the same action in the future. Left only in his boxers, Alec unzipped Magnus’s pants and undid their latch, looking into Magnus’s face as if asking permission. Magnus kissed him lightly, giving him the answer to the question that need not be asked. Alec pushed the pants down and was unsurprised to find Magnus had gone commando. He smirked playfully and smacked Magnus’s ass, pulling a laugh out of both of them.  
It felt good to laugh about something so silly after the day they had, had. They were both smiling as they climbed into the tub, Alec sat first, pulling Magnus down so he was sitting between Alec’s legs. Oh the simple joys of a Jacuzzi tub when both men were taller than 6 feet. They just relaxed for many minutes, pressing kisses and words of love into each other’s skin. Frayed nerves were soothed and tight muscles were released as they comforted each other. When Alec was massaging shampoo into Magnus’s hair, Magnus let out a soft laugh.  
“You are the one who almost died today, and yet you are taking care of me. I think it should probably be the other way around.” He claimed, even as he moaned quietly at his lover’s strong, talented hands.  
“All I did was lay there,” Alec said cheekily. “You’re the one who nearly collapsed in exhaustion to save me,” he leaned forward and kissed Magnus’s jaw before motioning for him to lean back so he could rinse his hair.  
“Still…” Magnus said, his eyes closed as his hair was cleansed.  
“I’ll let you take care of me tomorrow, how about that,” Alec offered the compromise. Magnus smirked and nodded, sitting up and turning half way to face Alec.  
“Thank you for all of this,” he said, his eyes full of love. Alec smiled,  
“It’s nothing less than you do for me every day,” he replied. Magnus laid his head back, his face pressed into Alec’s neck. He was still shaken from almost losing Alec, but he had to admit, if all bad days could include being cared for and loved so deeply by his Shadowhunter, then he’d have a lot less bad nights.


End file.
